E18: Preparing for Labor & Delivery!

In this episode, I talk about the labor & delivery experience and tips & tricks that you can use the make the experience more seamless, enjoyable, and fulfilling!

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello everyone and welcome back to the Jamal podcast, where I talk about all things pregnancy, postpartum Motherhood, tips and tricks and more from a Senegalese, american perspective. I'm your host. I see to key say, and in today's episode we're gonna be going into a tips and tricks route with this episode, and that's because we're gonna be talking about preparing for labor and delivery and everything you will need. So I have my handy notes here. Thinking back to this time last year, I was in the thick of it. I was eight months pregnant and starting to think about what labor and delivery would look like for me. I haven't been thinking about it the whole time, but this was really where it's like okay, we're getting down to the nitty gritty of it and I need to start thinking about what am I gonna need when it's time to go to the hospital and deliver this baby? So that's what today's episode is gonna be about, and I'm just gonna give you guys a rundown of things that I packed when I was going to the hospital, how the delivery, labor and delivery experience was for me overall, and and with some notes on how you can best prepare yourself for when that time comes, because it's a stressful time.

Speaker 1: 1:08

So let's start with one of the most important things when it comes to the labor and delivery experience, which is the hospital that you're going to be delivering your baby at. This is likely the hospital that you will also be having your prenatal visits at monthly or bi-weekly or weekly, whatever the case may be but it's really important for you to do some research on this hospital and the labor and delivery experience that you'll likely experience. Some hospitals will allow you to take a tour of the labor and delivery ward before you actually get to that point. It's not common, but it is a thing for some hospitals. So the point that I want to make here is you want to interview the hospital that you are having your visits at and that you'll likely be delivering your baby at, ask them questions around. What are the pain management Methods that you have available? What's going to be the process for me checking in, if you're going to be inducing me? What is a process for spontaneous labor if I happen to go into labor and it's not an induction method? You want to ask as many questions as possible during your visits and as well as leading up to the labor and delivery experience, because when that time comes, it's not the time to ask questions. You're going to be high, strong, stressed out, nervous, scared, all the above and you just want to make sure you get that out of the way Before you even get to the labor and delivery experience. So that's the first thing that I wanted to get out of the way, because a lot of people talk about labor and delivery in terms of everything you're going to need, but they don't talk about the hospital. The hospital is Arguably the most important part of it all, and your comfort level is what's going to be paramount when it's time to deliver your baby. So Now I'm going to jump into some tips and tricks, in no particular order. These are just things that I kept in mind and prepared for when it was time to Go into that experience for me, and the first part of it is your birth plan.

Speaker 1: 3:04

The reason why I put this as number one and I said in no particular order, but this is also pretty important is that the birth plan is going to Be a feeder for a lot of other factors in your labor and delivery experience. So when I say that, I mean You're going to talk about the ambiance that you want inside the labor and delivery room. You're going to talk about who you want in the labor and delivery room, what kind of pain management that you want. You're going to talk about what you want to happen to your baby after birth in terms of shots that you want them administered, or you know if you want the, the solo time with your baby where they place the baby on your chest. All of these things can pop up on your birth plan if you want to document that. And Actually, when I publish this episode, I'm going to publish what my birth plan looked like.

Speaker 1: 3:53

It was kind of rudimentary. I wanted to just make sure that I had a positive experience overall, but there were certain things that I wanted to call out. So I had a conversation with my doctor and just make sure that the hospital could accommodate for that, but also that they were on board, because the more people that you Get on board with what you would like to happen and what you would like that experience to look like as closely as possible to what you Would like, the better. You're never going to have a birth experience that you would like to have, a birth experience that 100% aligns with what you want, but the closer you can get that you know your vision and what's possible. The closer you can get those two things together, the better.

Speaker 1: 4:33

So an example of why I'm mentioning this is that you may want to have like laughing gas administered as a pain management and your hospital doesn't doesn't accommodate for that. Therefore, if you put it on your birth plan, it's a waste of space because your hospital doesn't allow for laughing gas to be used to manage pain. So that's why it's important to really Interview the hospital that you're going to be giving birth, that to make sure that the things that you want aligned with what they have as opportunities and as resources, so you're not, you know, left up to the whims of the day when it's time to actually deliver your baby. You want to make sure you're as prepared as possible and the best way to do that is to do your research, interview, ask questions and then align all of those in for all those pieces of pieces of information With what you want to put in your birth plan. But staying on the track of the birth plan, I wanted to mention that you should be flexible. You don't want it to be so stern and so rigid that you don't accommodate for the nuances and the unpredictability of labor and delivery. You can have a birth plan all you want, but if your baby is breached, the doctors are gonna have to make the best decision for you and baby at the time that that's happening. So stay flexible.

Speaker 1: 5:55

Keep in mind that labor and delivery is an unpredictable experience. You can only plan for so much. You can plan what shoes you're gonna wear, what clothes you're gonna wear, all those things but when it comes down to it, the goal of labor and delivery is healthy mama, healthy baby, and this is an important point to keep in mind, because sometimes we think about all of the aesthetics and all of the things that we see on YouTube videos and birth vlogs, but at the end of the day, you and your doctor need to have the kind of relationship where you can talk about the outcome, and the outcome that is paramount for the doctor and that should be for you is to have a healthy mom, healthy baby. In whichever way that you get that outcome, that's gonna be what's most important, not the how. Necessarily, that doesn't mean that you can't document what you want, but document what you can. For you and your care team and your support team, this is really important because you wanna make sure that when you're in the labor and delivery room and things are going like the ball is rolling, when you get to that moment where you can advocate for yourself, that your support team can advocate on your behalf. And that's why it's important to document what your desires are, say, if you want to have the life stemmed. That's not gonna be something that you can necessarily communicate when you're in the middle of having hard contractions. So having it in a birth plan, discussing with your doctor ahead of time and communicating that with your advocacy team and your support team as well, they can help make sure that the environment is how you would like it, that you have as much as possible at your disposal when you're going through those contractions to make the experience much easier for you.

Speaker 1: 7:34

Looking at my notes here, I talked about researching researching as much as possible so that you're on with as much information as possible, and then, overall, just removing the mystery around the birth experience can help you relieve some stress. I enjoyed putting my birth plan together because it allowed me to think about the different elements of birth. I think demystifying the labor and delivery experience overall helped calm a lot of my nerves because prior to that I was very much like I'm not afraid of pregnancy as much as I am of giving birth, like where is this child supposed to come out of. But really doing my research and talking to my care team around what the labor and delivery experience would look like, and then watching YouTube videos and really just trying to make it as realistic and bring it as close to me as possible, helped make the experience that much more relieving and just helped me overcome my nerves around the whole experience. So that's the first point around the birth plan and, like I mentioned, I'll share a link of what my birth plan looked like. I used an app called Canva to create it. There are templates out there that you can utilize. You can create your own. It doesn't also have to be super graphic. You can just literally write bullet points of. This is what I would like to happen ideally, if everything goes well, when it's time to deliver my baby.

Speaker 1: 9:00

The next thing that I wanna talk about is a postpartum recovery kit. So I went with the Freedom Mom brand, mainly because I received a couple of those as part of my baby registry. People went on there and just bought that for me, but I ended up really enjoying it as well, because I felt like it was complete. It gave me even more than I needed. So, just going into a little bit more detail around what comes with the postpartum recovery kit right, you're gonna need overnight pads. So what that means is like those heavy duty, industrial sized pads, because you're gonna have some postpartum bleeding. So it's good to have something that can really help you manage that bleeding, especially those first couple of days, and the Freedom Mom kit came with that.

Speaker 1: 9:44

You're gonna need pain relieving spray. So when you give birth it's gonna be very sensitive down there, especially if you have stitches afterwards, if you have tearing afterwards any of that you're gonna need some pain relief spray because every time you pee after you give birth for the next couple of days it's going to burn. Pain relief spray just really helps you manage that pain. Next, you're gonna need disposable underwear. I guess you could use regular underwear, but because of that bleeding and just the unpredictability of it, it will be nice to have some disposable underwear so that as soon as you are done using the restroom, you can take off that pad along with the disposable underwear and discard the whole thing.

Speaker 1: 10:28

The next thing I personally really like this one because it's a Perry bottle. Once you give birth, after you're using the bathroom, you're not going to be able to wash down there as as much as you would have before you gave birth, right, at least for those first couple of days, because it's going to be very sensitive down there. A parry bottle the reason why I like it and I actually put in my notes here satala satala, which is the French Sorry, not French, I guess is it an English a Wallaf word. A Wallaf word for like we use a satala to do, would do, which is like the process of cleansing before you pray. But the reason why I put a parry bottle versus a satala is because a satala is kind of fixed in the way that it is designed, so it kind of just goes like this If you're watching this video versus listening to it, you'll see the motions that I'm making. But a satala it goes one way, right. But a parry bottle is designed to be upside down, and so the reason why that's helpful is because you'll want to orient the bottle towards your ananyay, towards your intimate area, after you give birth to make the washing as easy as possible. You're not going to have as much flexibility and as much mobility after you give birth. So the parry bottle, the way that it's designed and I'll put a picture up here when I'm editing the episode to make it easy for you guys to see what I'm talking about but a parry bottle just really helps. You has an upward motion where you can kind of just hold it and like squirt the bottle and the water comes up towards your intimate area to help you really make that washing experience as easy as possible. But that's very helpful as well to make sure that you're including your postpartum recovery kit.

Speaker 1: 12:15

Next up on the postpartum recovery kit is the comfortable clothes. So any Moomoo dresses you have, any comfortable loose clothing clothing is going to be very helpful during this period because you want to make sure that you are as comfortable as possible and as free as possible to allow for that healing to take place. And then I have on here as well. It wasn't relevant for me because I did not have a C-section, but any C-section material that you would like to include in your postpartum recovery kit would also be very helpful. So you can do some research on that. If you have a Schedule C-section, you can do the research ahead of time. If you don't have a Schedule C-section and it happens to be emergency C-section or that's just how labor and delivery ended up for you, then you can also make sure that you do some research postpartum on that to see how you can quickly recover or well, I don't want to say quickly, because there's no time frame, right but how you can recover as effectively as possible and as comfortably as possible post a C-section. So that's all the postpartum recovery kit.

Speaker 1: 13:15

The next part that I want to talk about is your support team. So this is really important and you can pack it in a bag, but it's very, very important to have a support team that is with you in the labor and delivery room throughout the labor and delivery experience. You want folks who can advocate on your behalf If you're in the middle of a contraction and they're starting to explain medical terms to you and you're just not even listening because the pain is so bad. You want somebody in the room who can understand what the doctors are saying and, based on your birth plan if you documented it or if you had conversations they can help advocate on your behalf. If you don't for sure want something and the doctors are suggesting it to you and it wasn't communicated, if somebody on your birth team knows that, then they can help you advocate for yourself and say, hey, this is something that she's really not comfortable with. If she was not in the middle of a screen right now, she would be able to communicate that to you.

Speaker 1: 14:08

So it's just really important to make sure that you have folks around you who understand what you want, and even from not even just from a one perspective, but maybe from like a, let's say, like an allergy standpoint. Of course, your doctors would know what you're allergic to, but let's just say like, maybe there was something that was missed, right, and somebody in your support team knows that about you and your doctors are like, hey, we're about to give you this medicine and they know, if they just happen to know, that can really be a life-saving moment right there. So the point that I'm trying to drive home here is that your support team is really important in making your labor and delivery experience a seamless process, a memorable process, like I'm remembering back to the time when it was time for me to give birth and my support team was right there with me and it really just made the experience that much more special and I know something from a cultural standpoint. That's not always the case. To even have your husband in the room sometimes is not a thing, but the more close and important people you can have in the room with you, as long as you are comfortable, the more comfortable overall the experience can be. And so I just wanted to put that on the list, because we don't always think about it. We think like, oh, it's time to give the birth, it's time to give birth, so it's all about just like from a medical standpoint. But you know, mentally and spiritually and emotionally you're going to need support as well, so that's just good to have.

Speaker 1: 15:38

And then the next thing that I have on here is the hospital bag. So some of the things that I already talked about would go in your hospital back, such as your postpartum recovery kit. But this is I wanted to call it out as an individual point here because your hospital bag is something that you're going to want to pack as early as you can Once you start getting closer to that labor and delivery date. So I wanted to call out here that you don't want to over pack Now. Of course, if it's your first baby, you're not going to know, I didn't know. I packed a lot of things. But a pleasant surprise that I had was that once I got to the hospital, a lot of the things that I needed were already in my labor and delivery room. I didn't need to pack it. That's why I wanted to call it out here.

Speaker 1: 16:19

So if you're packing and you're worried or you're stressed, don't worry. A lot of the things that you're going to need will already be in the hospital room for you once you arrive. But I wanted to call it out as something, especially if you're going to spontaneous labor and you're like you know, if you're at Walmart and your water breaks and you have to go to the hospital, you're not going to have time to go back home. Grab your hospital bag, if you already packed it, and take it with you. Obviously, somebody can bring that to you after the fact, but in the moment you shouldn't be so stressed out like, oh my God, I don't have my socks, I don't have this, I don't have that. Trust me, you'll be fine.

Speaker 1: 16:51

But if you do have the opportunity to pack a hospital bag, what I would like to call out is that you're mostly going to need it after you give birth, not necessarily during the labor and delivery process, because during the labor and delivery process. A lot like I mentioned. A lot of the things that you're going to need will already be in the hospital room for you. So I wanted to go through what I had in my hospital delivery bag and talk about what was helpful and what I didn't use and what was just nice to have. So obviously, clothes for you and your partner. I packed that a going home outfit for you and baby. Inshallah, you will have your bundle of joy in your arms after the whole experience is over and at that time, if you would like to have a matching outfit or just you know you want to make sure that you pack an outfit for the baby the hospital will give you clothes. But if there's something more comfortable that you would like to put your baby in, or something like matching, then that's something that you obviously want to pack inside your hospital bag. Socks, I put on here, but the hospital will have socks. They will have toiletries as well Hairbrush combs, ponytail holder or if you're you know. If you want to just give braids and skip all of that, that's also an option that you can do. Your favorite blanket. It will make you feel more comfortable. Any medication that you're taking at the time and, overall, just anything that will make you more comfortable. So I can mention the hospital will have the basic necessities that you will need to get through labor and delivery. But of course, you want to make sure that if there's something that will make the experience more comfortable for you, that you bring that with you as well.

Speaker 1: 18:29

This next one is important. It's the health care cards. So if there's anything that you need to have, it is like documentation of who you are. You want to bring your social security card. You want to bring your form of identification. You want to bring in the health care cards. I got lucky in the sense that I gave birth at the end of the year, so I hadn't met my deductible. There wasn't anything that I had to buy at the hospital or pay out of pocket, but it's just good to bring your insurance information as well so that they can charge your insurance as much as they need to and to the maximum, before they start charging you as a person. I'm just going to leave it at that, like, at the end of the day, it's a business as much as there can be nice to you and give you everything that you need and you're like, oh, can I have this, can I have that? They're going to bill you for all of those things. So just bring your health care cards, bring your insurance cards, bring your form of identification. And this is also another step where you can take in the interview process for your hospital and say, hey, what's your process for billing? What's your process for charging the insurance?

Speaker 1: 19:38

Interview your insurance company and say, hey, what is going to be my deductible? This is my due date. What does the situation look like for me if I have, if I give birth on my due date and I haven't met my deductible, all of these things? I was out here asking all the questions, child. I was like emailing my insurance and saying, hey, I'm due at the end of December. If I'm your deductible, do I have to pay anything? Ask the questions. You need to ask the questions.

Speaker 1: 20:03

It's just going to make the experience that much more predictable for you and you can better prepare yourself, because once the baby comes in the house, you're going to be busy. You're going to be so busy you're not going to have time to deal with all that. So the best thing that you can do, in my opinion, is take care of as much as you can before you have the baby, so that that way, when the baby comes, you can focus on the baby. The next thing that I have on my list is entertainment. I guess I'll say this like, if you get an epidural, you're gonna have time to enjoy entertainment. If not, you may not. But you know, bring a book, your tablet, you make a bag, your phone, whatever, whatever makes you feel comfortable, because, especially if you get the epidural, you're gonna have a lot of time in the delivery room, depending on how your delivery experience goes, but you're gonna have time maybe to unwind and just relax. And so you know, entertainment doesn't hurt. Don't forget your chargers for all of your devices.

Speaker 1: 21:02

One thing that I had was an instant camera, so I brought that to just capture different moments throughout the labor and delivery experience. And it's really nice to be able to go back and look like, oh, look, when you were sleeping in the labor and delivery room while I was screaming, or like, you know, when my parents came and that was a really nice experience. Or when you know they brought pizza and I wasn't supposed to eat it but I took a bite anyway. It's like all of those things it's just nice to capture the memories, and so an instant camera could also be something that you pack in your hospital bag with you.

Speaker 1: 21:33

This next one is very, very important, very, very important An approved infant seat Infant seat, not toddler seat an infant seat. And so you're likely not gonna be able to leave the hospital with your baby if you don't have an approved infant seat. As a safety measure, bring the infant seat with you when you're going into labor and delivery and just make sure that the doctor sign off on it so that, once you're done and you're discharged, you can just take your baby and go. A lot of hospitals have this regulation where, if you don't have an approved infant seat, you're not taking your baby home. So that's very, very, very important. Make sure that you have an approved infant seat that you can take your baby home with safely and comfortably, so that you can be discharged from the hospital without any delays.

Speaker 1: 22:23

And this last one that I have it's a positive. I got this attitude. That's so cheesy, it's so so, so cheesy, but it's important because you do got this. You will, inshallah, take your baby home and cuddle them and raise them and nurture them. But if you don't go in with the mindset of I got this. It's gonna be very hard from a mental standpoint to get to the labor and delivery experience. If you're lucky enough to have a short labor and delivery experience, all the best. If you have a long labor and delivery experience and you wallow and you harp down on the negative aspects of it, it's gonna be a long journey.

Speaker 1: 23:03

And so I just wanted to say this, because I wanted to speak words of empowerment and words of encouragement to anybody who is in the thick of it right now or is approaching that standpoint or approaching that part of the journey. It's not easy, it's definitely not, but manage expectations, but keep a positive attitude. Inshallah, you will take your baby home safely and soundly, but to make the experience more of a positive one, you wanna make sure that you maintain a positive attitude. I don't know what else to say around that, except try your best, set the environment that you want. That will help you maintain a positive attitude, whether it's through having the Quran playing or having music or having just a very Zen environment where the lights are turned down and you can kind of like go inside of your heart and say, okay, I'm going through this right now. Let me meditate, let me breathe, let me hum, like whatever you need to do to have a positive experience. Try to maximize on that, because it's very hard but it's very doable and you got this. So I'm sending words of encouragement, I'm sending positive thoughts out there to anybody who's in the middle of it. I'm thinking back right now.

Speaker 1: 24:21

This time last year I was trying to get the baby out. I was like I'm ready, but when the time comes, it's. It's a unique experience and Little if you are none like yalla, boom, boom, boom and it's again. You know anybody out there that would like to experience childbirth and would like to have a baby. I I pray this upon you. I pray that it's a positive and wonderful experience, but it is challenging. So Prepare, prepare, prepare and go in with a positive, can-do attitude and, inshallah, you'll be fine. So I hope this was helpful to anyone that is hearing this information and that is nearing the finish line.

Speaker 1: 25:00

It's one of those things where no one can fully prepare you for it. Watching a 20-something minute video of me rambling about all these things it's not gonna prepare you for labor and delivery. It can help get you closer to that point where you feel like you're more ready. But the best thing that you can do is do research, talk to other people and Just do your best, because when it's time for that baby to come, inshallah they're gonna come. And so I'm looking at my nose here just saying like going into labor and delivery can be exciting, unexpected, terrifying, terrifying and a full-on adrenaline rush. The more you can prepare, the better off you will be so you can have a seamless experience. But always remember the goal is healthy mom, healthy baby. I'm gonna say that one more time Healthy mom, healthy baby that is the goal. That is the goal. Don't be so stuck on like oh, I want to have a vaginal delivery, or I wanted to go this way, I wanted to go that way. Here's my birth plan and all the things must, must happen. All the stars must align. Don't think of it like that. Think of it as A sketch of like how you would like the experience to go overall, but keeping in mind that the goal is healthy mom, healthy baby, both going home safe and sound. That is the goal. So, in all the things I mentioned, if you, if you remember nothing else, remember this the goal of preparing for labor and delivery Is healthy mom, healthy baby.

Speaker 1: 26:33

I think I will end it there and say thank you for listening to this episode. I hope that it was helpful for someone out there. If you know someone who is currently going through it or approaching it, feel free to share the video with them. Also, feel free to share your own personal experiences. Um, I think I shared enough about mine.

Speaker 1: 26:52

It was pretty. I got induced for labor, so it was very much like I knew when I was going in, unless it happened to come before that, but it didn't look like it. Um, but I got induced for labor so I was able to pack a hospital bag, do all the research that I wanted to do and go in and kind of just like have the experience happened to me? But Feel free to share your experiences below. If that didn't happen for you or if you know you wouldn't just spontaneous labor, you had a c-section. I think others would love to hear from everyone who's been through this and they'll be able to learn something from it. With that, I want to say thank you for listening to this episode and I will see you on the next one.